Maybe I Should Have Used the Topic Generator After All

I wanted to do a blog post today, but I couldn’t think of a topic. Well, I kinda did, but they were either boring, controversial or involved research. So, I decided to try one of those online blog topic generator things. Boy, did they have stupid topics! The first one that popped up was George Washington and the American Revolution. I was like, “For realz homey! What is this – 8th grade History”? Don’t get me wrong, I like history. And from what I’ve read about him in the past, George was a pretty cool dude. But, as a blog topic? Ummm, no. 

So, instead of having a topic, I decided just to blog about random whatever popped into my head kind of stuff. Like…

OMG, I just noticed that Tom Bergeron has, what appears to be, an abnormally large head. Maybe it’s some kind of weird television illusion, somehow connected with his hair. IDK. I can’t believe that I’ve been watching the guy for years, and I just noticed it last night. But, yeah, in proportion to his body, his head seems REALLY big.

OMG, I don’t know what company is doing the advertising for Jello Pudding, but the commercial where the guy has a pudding face is just downright creepy. He has a Mr. Sardonicus face. Mr. Sardonicus is a 1961 horror film by William Castle and stars Guy Rolfe as the title character. It scared the crap out of me when I was a kid.
Anyway, how on earth could they make a creepy commercial like that and actually expect their pudding sales to increase? I don’t get it. I was going to post a picture of Mr. Sardonicus AND that creepy pudding guy to illustrate my point, but I just couldn’t do it. It was bad enough that I went to the Mr. Sardonicus wikipedia page and saw his creepy ass face. There’s no way that I can put that picture in this post. I just can’t do it.
Here’s a link if you want to see it. I would advise against it.
Really scary and creepy Mr. Sardonicus wikipedia page

This is Boris Pasternak, the guy who wrote Dr. Zhivago. He's a tad bit creepy looking.

OMG, I can’t believe that I knew that answer to Final Jeopardy today. The category was 20th century novels. For some reason Dr. Zhivago popped into my head. It totally makes up for me missing that uber-easy Titanic question the other day. Anyway, if you watch Jeopardy, and you live in a part of the country where today’s episode hasn’t aired yet, the answer (or question or whatever you want to call it) is Dr. Zhivago.

OMG, did you know that Glenn Hughes, the original leatherman from The Village People, and The Defeo Family are buried in the same cemetery. The Defeo’s were the family that were murdered in their house at 112 Ocean Avenue, which is more famously known as the 

DUM DUM DUUUUUMMMMMMMMMM

Amityville Horror house

Don’t ask me how or why I know this, I just do.

Anyway, they’re buried at the St. Charles Cemetery in New York.

Guess who else is buried in that SAME cemetery. Johnny Roventini.
Who the crap is Johnny Roventini?
Johnny Roventini was an advertising icon. In 1933, 22 year old Johnny was promoted as “the shortest bellboy in the world” by the Hotel New Yorker (he was 48 inches tall).
He met advertising man Milton Biow, who gave him a dollar to “locate Philip Morris.” Not knowing that Philip Morris was a cigarette, he walked through the hotel, shouting “Call for Philip Mor-rees.” Thus began a career with a lifetime contract.

Anyway, enough of that creepy stuff.

OMG, what is up with those people on the Bold and the Beautiful and their creepy ‘I’ve obviously had excessive plastic surgery’ faces. With the exception of Susan Flannery, who plays Stephanie Forrester (and Robert Wagner’s secretary/girlfriend who gets burned up in The Towering Inferno), they all look like they have plastic faces. I’m not kidding. I can’t even watch that show anymore. They all remind me of those creepy mannequins from that Vincent Price House of Wax movie right at the moment when their faces are beginning to melt from the fire (which horribly disfigures my poor homeboy, Vincent P.).

I though you said enough of the creepy stuff.

You’re right. My bad!
But seriously, those people are SCARY looking.

Hmmm… I think that’s enough of the stupid random stuff. I have to go weedeat the front yard in about 25 minutes. I saw a big snake out there when I went to check the mail yesterday, and now I’m a bit apprehensive about the yardwork. I’m not a big baby or anything… I just don’t like snakes.

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2 thoughts on “Maybe I Should Have Used the Topic Generator After All

  1. Of course me, being ME, HAD to see who this Mr. Sardonicus was. I will now not be able to sleep for at least a week.
    Next time you need a topic, watch Wheel of Fortune after Jeopardy to get ideas. Sheesh. LOL

    • I said DON’T LOOK.
      Sorry if you have nightmares.
      You know, you may be some kind of super-genius, because using one of the Wheel of Fortune puzzles as a topic is an excellent idea. I may have to try it sometime. Thanks!

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