Those Horrible School Photos

I always hated school photos. With the exception of my first grade picture, every single one of mine has the potential to be placed next to the definition of the word “Dork” in the dictionary.

I had all kinds of potential, but somehow between the first and second grade something went horribly wrong.

First Grade

Awww, he's such a sweet child.

Second Grade

Hey Sherman, where's Mr. Peabody!?

Fifth Grade
My fifth grade photo was exceedingly horrible because:
1. My haircut made me look like a Conehead.
2. My mom let me pick out my own tie.
3. I look constipated.

NO, I am not Ernie from "My Three Sons"!!!

Seventh Grade
My 7th grade photo wasn’t too bad. At least I got rid of the conehead haircut, and kind of smiled…well, more like a smirk. But that shirt! ICK!

Ninth Grade
Okay, so what you don’t see in the photo is the big pink butterfly in the middle of the shirt.
Also, the faux sideburns are uber-hideous, the part in my hair is totally jacked up, and I have swoopy bangs.
At least I’m smiling.
Barry Goldwater glasses must have been in style that year. IDK.

Twelfth Grade
My Senior picture is one of the most awful things ever recorded on film. Believe it or not, I had actually lost my virginity by the time this picture was taken.
The hair is just super whack. You can’t tell from the black and white film, but both the jacket and tie are green.

I am placing the following photos into the post in hopes that one of those school pictures doesn’t show up (fingers crossed) as the featured picture when the post comes up on Freshly Pressed. That would just be so appalling.


15 thoughts on “Those Horrible School Photos

  1. I actually looked the word “dork” up in my physical blue dusty hard cover Webster’s Official Unabridged Dictionary and your ninth grade photo was right there (after mine). Man am I glad we grew out of our shells, if only for a brief second, to become the handsome upstanding men we are today. cough.

    • I don’t know too much about the upstanding part, but everything else pretty much fits…kind of…maybe?

      George Clooney turned out okay.

      We almost look as good as he does.

      • We would like to inform Mr. “Bob” that his posting of said pictures on his blog resulted in the death of one “digitaloutcast.” The surviving members of “digitaloutcast’s” family will be pressing charges and filing a lawsuit for distress, intent to harm, and willful negligence of and use of, deadly weapons in the form of still images. Thank you.

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