Leaving Las Vegas – Part 3

In the almost 20 years that I lived in Las Vegas, I made quite a few friends. One of them was Robert S. Robert was originally from Texas and had a thick southern accent. I met him when I was working at the OG.

Robert’s number one priority in life was getting laid. It was an extremely difficult task for him, however, because he looked like the real life version of Porky Pig. I’m not trying to mean, but that’s just how it was.

In addition to looking like Porky Pig, he was the most sacrilegious and unpatriotic person I have ever met. Nothing was taboo or off limits, and he thought that most people were stupid.

He was a good actor, though. Whenever he was waiting on tables he was the nicest and sweetest person to his guests. Everybody was ‘sweetie’ and ‘honey’ As soon as he turned the corner to punch his order into the computer, however, they became ‘frickin’ jerks’ and ‘fat bitches’.

In the fall of ’01 he had gotten tickets to the Beaux Arts Ball. It was held in Studio 54 at the MGM Grand every year, on or around Halloween.

Anyway, he asked me if I wanted to go. I said, “Okay, I guess”. I wasn’t really into that kind of stuff, but Robert lived for it.

As soon as I said I would go, the first words out of his mouth were, “We should go as the Twin Towers”.

“You have got to be kidding me”, I said. “Absolutely NOT”!

“Why not”?, he asked.

“Because”, I said, “It is tacky, tasteless, and borders on sedition. Do you want to get lynched? I’ll go as JFK and Jackie, seconds after the fatal head shot, but there is no way that I’ll part of a Twin Towers costume”!

That ended the discussion.

Anyway, I went as a zombie. It was a costume that I had put together at the last minute. Robert went as a Wizard. He was very artistic and it was a elaborate costume. I wish I had a picture of it, but I don’t. He end up winning the grand prize of $1,000, for best overall costume. I got 3rd runner up in the horror category.

The year after that, we went to the event again. He was Liberace and I was, again, a zombie. He had spent about 6 months on an elaborate sequined cape and a jacket with a grand piano bedazzled on the back. Neither of us won a prize.

We ended up going to the Beaux Arts Ball 4 times. Here is a picture of Robert the year that he went as Frankenstein’s Baby Mama.

The last time that I saw Robert was Valentine’s Day in 2007. I had gotten a check for my Rich List game show winnings on Feb. 1st. The check finally cleared on the 13th and was now in my account. So, I quit the OG.

I stayed in contact with a few people that I had made friends with at the OG, but Robert wasn’t one of them.

The whole time that I hung out with Robert he never got laid. I sometimes wonder if he, finally, ever did.

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7 thoughts on “Leaving Las Vegas – Part 3

  1. You’ve lived a very interesting life there, Bob. I guess life was never boring, which is highly superior, in my personal and humble opinion, than a boring life.

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