It Speaks, Yet Says Nothing

Sometimes, when I go back and read some of the other posts that I’ve written I think, “Dude, you sound like a crackhead”! Such as with the post from yesterday. I guess that’s what happens when the write a post around the pictures instead of the other way around. IDK.

Today is the day that I call to see if I have jury duty tomorrow. It’s almost been two months and so far nothing. My sister’s friend, Mike, is coming in tomorrow, so more that likely when I call this morning the recording will say, “There WILL be a trial tomorrow. Please report to room blah blah at 8 am.”
In addition to calling the JD hotline, I’m also going to have to call the Bailiff afterwards and leave my new phone number.

Every Tuesday I get an email with trivia from Ken Jennings. There are 7 questions and I usually suck at them. The last question is always a list and you have to find out what the items have in common. This is the list from today:

7. What unusual distinction is shared by these historical figures? Julius Caesar, Thomas Chatterton, Cleopatra, James Cook, Lady Jane Grey, Leonardo da Vinci, Jean-Paul Marat, Montezuma, Horatio Nelson, Socrates.

I have no clue. I know that Caesar got stabbed, Cleopatra got bitten by an asp, and Marat was stabbed in the bathtub. I thing that Lady Jane Grey got her head chopped off. I’m thinking that the answer has something to do with the way that they died.
If you figure it out, let me know.

This was the final question from last week:

7. What unusual (and fairly specific) distinction is shared by all these movies? The Barefoot Contessa, The Brothers McMullen, Frankenstein (1931), Great Expectations (1946), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Night of the Living Dead, Plan 9 from Outer Space, Saving Private Ryan, Under the Volcano, Volver.

The answer is that they are all movies that begin in a cemetery. I didn’t get that one either. I had to wait until the answer came out today.

I just called and there is not a trial tomorrow.

In addition to being the smallest state west of the Mississippi, Arkansas is also the most boring. I guess nobody ever commits a crime. Either that or they all plead guilty.

Here’s a gif that someone posted on Tumblr. I thought it was cool. I think it’s Timothy Leary.

Timothy Leary was famous for this saying:

I never did any of that. I think the closest I ever came was watching a trippy Marshall McLuhan film in 9th grade Civics class. 

Marshall McLuhan was a Canadian who is known for coining the expressions The medium is the message and The global village. He also predicted the World Wide Web almost 30 years before it was invented.
His most widely known work is the book Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man.
My favorite of his media and their messages quotes is the one about television.

“It speaks, and yet says nothing”

I can agree with that. Even when I was a kid I remember thinking that television was the world’s greatest propaganda tool. People believe just about everything that they see and hear on television.


The Taste of Music is Sometimes Sour

Let’s face it, everybody has songs that they keep secret. Songs that they would NEVER let their friends or family know that they like. Some, of which, may even be in their top 20 favorite songs of all time.

Luckily, with the advent of headphones, and eventually walkmans, mp3 players, and ipods, it’s a lot easier to hide the dirty little musical secret. You could have, what is considered by some, the best musical taste in the world, but it can all be negated as soon as people find out that you actually like Friday by Rebecca Black. You can go from musical taste savant to someone who rides the short bus to music appreciation class, all because you like one song.

I wasn’t savvy enough to hide the less than astute side of my musical taste until I was well into my twenties. It was the summer of ’86 and I was having a poker party in my apartment. During one of ours breaks, my friend John started looking through my record collection. All of a sudden I heard him shout, “Oh my God, Bob! What the hell is this? You LIKE this”?
Then he held up the album for everyone to see.

Everybody busted out laughing.

I ran over and grabbed the album out of his hands. “That’s not mine”, I lied. “That’s my sister’s album. It must have gotten mixed in when I moved”.

“I know your sister”, said John. “This is not hers. You’re such a liar, Bob”.

He was right. I was a liar. It WAS my album.

After that, a few of the other guys started rummaging through my albums.

I rolled my eyes, and went into the kitchen to get another beer. All of a sudden I heard someone go “EWWWWWWWW!”, followed by hysterical guffaws.
“We have to play it”, someone said.”We have to play it.”

I went into the living room to see which album was causing all of the hysterics.

Someone pulled the album out of the jacket and put it on the turntable. A few seconds later Long-Haired Lover From Liverpool was blasting through the speakers.

Click here to listen to it

Anyway, they all started dancing around my apartment, acting like a bunch of drunken idiots. Which is what they were. Drunk and stupid idiots.

After that, there was no more poker. 

Over the course of the next few hours, my records were taken out of the covers and strewn everywhere.

At about 4 in the morning, when everyone – with the exception of Larry, who was passed out on my couch – was gone, I surveyed the damage. What a mess. As I was putting the records back into their covers, I discovered that someone had stepped on my 12 inch single of The Freaks Come Out at Night by Whodini, and cracked it into. Bastards!

So, that was the night that I learned to hide all of my records in the ‘dubious musical taste’ category. They can incite mayhem. They can turn a poker party into a Comiskey Park Disco Demolition Night type of event.

Now, I’m not saying that I have bad musical taste. I don’t think I do. Music taste is relative anyway. And, it’s age appropriate.

I like all kinds of music, for the most part, and am not afraid to play the songs openly. But, there ARE those songs that I keep hidden and only play when no one is around. The songs that I pretend I don’t like. The ones that I make fun of, but secretly love.

I guess I will rat myself out and present a partial list of those songs:

Sundown – American Juniors
Paper Roses – Marie Osmond
Shake Your Love – Debbie Gibson
Sweet and Innocent – Donny Osmond
Hearbeat – It’s a Lovebeat – The DeFranco Family
One Step Closer – S Club 8
Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde – Babs Tino
Birthday Party – The Pixies Three
Wenn Der Sommer Kommt – Heintje
Johnny Loves Me – Suzie
Easy Come, Easy Go – Bobby Sherman

and of course

Hey Deanie – Shaun Cassidy

that I mostly listen to…

Jimi Hendrix

John Coltrane

Janis Joplin

Apollo 440

Hopefully, that partially redeems me.

All the Cool Stuff

I love Perry Mason. It’s my favorite TV show of all time.  Park Avenue Beat, which is the name on the Perry Mason theme song, is the ring tone on my phone.

I like all of that noir, detective, crime, pulp and courtroom drama stuff. I think that I’ve read just about every Perry Mason novel there is. Erle Stanley Gardner is my favorite author.

I have all of the Perry Mason DVDs that have come out so far. But, I want them all…NOW! I hate when they take forever to come out with TV shows on DVD. Especially the ones that I like.

Dear Classic TV DVD People,
Please release everything at once. Spreading it out over months, and even years drives me crazy. I might die before the last season is released.

Sincerely Yours,
A disgruntled classic tv DVD watcher person who impatiently wants everything NOW

That was Bob. He wanted to know where the rest of the frickin Perry Mason DVDs were.

 I also like all of that old music that is associated with the crime and courtroom genre. I found a site a while back where you can listen to all that type of music. One of my favorite composers who did that kind of stuff was Syd Dale. He was an absolute musical genius. One of his best is The Hellraisers. If you click on the link below, it should take you to the KPM site, where you can listen to some of his tunes. Hellraisers is the second song. All you have to do is click on the music note (If you click on it and it says that your session has timed out or asks you to sign in, just back click, and try it again. It should work).

Syd Dale Music

Here are some other links that will take you to some of the various genres on the KPM site. All you have to do is click on the music notes to hear the songs.

Crime Scene
Close to the Edge
Conspiracy and Crime
The Action Machine

Another absolutely awesome site is the Prelinger Archives. They have old movies, tv shows, ephemera. classic radio shows, commercials, documents, music, etc. It’s all free to download, or you can just watch or listen from the site. It might take a few minutes to find certain things, but it’s well worth it.

They even have those old Coronet Instructional Films from the 40s and 50s. Here is one of my favorites.
Dating: Do’s and Don’ts (1949)

If you like vintage and retro advertising, like I do, then Plan59 is a cool site. They have colorful and high quality retro ads that are quite amusing. The old ads section is my favorite.

If you like vintage historical pics, then Shorpys is the site to go to.

Another site with old pictures of historical events and famous people is Old Pictures.

Here is some other cool stuff to do and sites to go to.

U.S. States Quiz



Soma FM

Project Gutenberg

And They Call It Puppy Love

Donny Osmond was on The Talk a few days ago. I like Donny. When I lived in Las Vegas I went to 3 of his concerts. Mainly because of propinquity. He would perform occasionally at the Orleans Hotel and Casino, which was located right down the street from where I lived. This was before he started doing his show with Marie at the Flamingo.

The first time that I went to see Donny I was with my friend Elvis. Elvis was just her nickname. Her real name was Yvonne. She also went by the name of Toni – the name given to her when she rode with Hell’s Angels. She was about 10 years older than me and one of the sweetest people that I have ever met. That is until you got on her bad side. I once saw her grab a butcher knife and shove it up under a guy’s throat. He was a big guy, too. She threated to rip his throat out.  

Elvis has tattoos covering her shoulders, arms and part of her neck. Most of them are Elvis Presley related. In later years she developed an infatuation with Antonio Banderas and got some tattoos relating to him also.

Elvis’ mother had been an actress in Hollywood back in the 40s and 50s. I can’t recall her name, but she mostly had bit parts, and acted as a stand-in for some actress that I also can’t recall. I’m thinking Lana Turner, but I may be wrong.

Elvis was originally from Providence, RI, and is somehow connected with Cross Pens. I think that her mother was married to one of the guys who owns it, or something like that. Anyway, Elvis gets money from them. She gets $1000 a month, and $20,000 at the end of every year. I’m not exactly sure how her mother is connected with the company now, but I do know that she’s really rich because of it. The big drama was when Elvis’ father/stepfather (I’m not sure which) died, and her mother married one of the guys who worked in their stables. According to Elvis, he tried to brainwash her mother into letting him control her finances.

Elvis had 4 kids. One of her daughters had died when she was trapped in a car that was in flames and burned to death. She also had a son who was an alcohol and drug addict. She told me a story about how she had come home one day (she was letting him stay with her), and he had drank all of the liquor in her Elvis Presley liquor bottle. She kicked him out. 

Anyway, my first time to see Donny perform was with her. We were sitting in the 4th row. Elvis wasn’t really a big Donny fan, but the concert was around the time of my birthday, and this was her present to me.

Most of the people at the concert were woman who were about my age. Just like me, they grew up with him. The thing that surprised me the most about his concert was how the women reacted. It was like it was 1972 all over again. Every time he would start to sing a new song they would start screaming and rush the stage. They first time they did it I was like WTF. They would scream and cry and shout “Donny! Donny”!

Before every song they would yell “Puppy Love, Puppy Love“! About halfway through the show he pulled some fortunate female (the homliest of the bunch I might add) out of the audience and brought her up on stage, where she sat in a chair while he crooned Puppy Love to her. I must admit that this part of the show kind of made me want to gag. I remember Elvis turning to me and saying, “What is the hell is wrong with these stupid women”?! I just shrugged my shoulders.

The next time that I went to see Donny perform, I was with my friend Camille. She had never seen him perform before, but was a fan. I had figured that the last concert, where the women became frenzied and crazed, was an isolated incident. Must to my amazement, however, it was exactly the same as it was before. Even more shocking was that my friend, Camille, was pretty much leading the pack. As soon as Donny started singing, she was out of her seat and at the front of the stage in about 2 seconds – screaming and yelling and crying “Donny! Donny!”. The thing that made me almost die from hysterics, though, was that there were 2 guys up there doing the same thing. It was so bizarre seeing 2 men about my age acting that way. When Donny sang the song Yo Yo, one of the guys started dancing so spasmodically that I thought he was having a seizure.

The last time that I saw Donny perform I was with my sister. Even though, like me, she grew up watching and listening to Donny, she wasn’t as big a fan. Which is kind of strange since SHE was the one who had all of his records and read of his exploits in the 16 and Tiger Beat magazines.
Lucky for me, she wasn’t one of the woman, who yet again, screamed and yelled and rushed the stage. I was thankful.

I have never seen Donny and Marie perform together. That’s kind of surprising, too, because I used to live so close to the Flamingo, where they are performing.

Sunshine and Bubblegum

So I woke up this morning with the Chicken Dance song stuck in my head. I opened my eyes and there is was. I stumbled into the kitchen to get my coffee. As I poured my coffee I started humming

Doody doody doody do
Doody doody doody do
Doody doody doody do

Where in the crap did that come from? Why is THAT song stuck in my head.

Sometimes I get songs stuck in my head that stay there for days. It seems like I get songs with the word baby stuck in my head a lot.

Be My Baby by the Ronettes
Make My Your Baby by Barbara Lewis
Baby by Justin Bieber

I’ll never forget the time that I had to write an 8 measure original composition for my music theory class. We had a week to do it. Unfortunately, that was the week that I had the Meow Mix catfood jingle stuck in my head. Every time I sat down at a piano in one of the practice rooms to write it, that stupid Meow Mix song would pop into my head.
Fifteen minutes before the piece was supposed to be turned in, I still hadn’t written anything, so, I just picked out the Meow Mix tune on the piano and wrote it down.
Mr. Griffith was none the wiser and I got an A. I think that was the only time that I plagiarized a song.

I think that one of the most obnoxious things that I had stuck in my head was the instrumental lead-in to the Brady Bunch theme song from the first season. It’s the version that was done by the Peppermint Trolley Company.

Doody doddy do doooooooo

Anyway, that’s the only thing that was stuck in my head. Just that part. I just kept hearing it over and over.

Speaking of Peppermint Trolley Company. What kind of weird name is that for a group? It’s almost as bad as 1910 Fruitgum Company. Not quite, but close.

Anyway, the Peppermint Trolley Company was a band of the sunshine pop genre. As far as the Brady Bunch goes, the PTC just did the instrumentals for the theme song. The actually singing was done by studio musicians.

They had a song called Baby You Come Rollin’ Across My Mind that peaked on the charts at no. 59 in the summer of ’68.
I totally remember that song. I think I was 10 or 11 when it came out. I didn’t like it.
Click here if you want to hear it. (I wouldn’t. It’s hideous)

Hmmmm… I didn’t expect this to turn into an ooey gooey tooty fruity sunshine and rainbows bubblegum pop post, but I guess that it has.

With the exception of the Theme from Mr. Ed,  it seems as if every song that I have ever done at karaoke has been of that genre/ilk. One time I sang Georgy Girl by The Seekers at karaoke in a gay bar, and a disgruntled ex threw a $5.oo Beer Bust cup at me and hit me in the head. Lucky for me it was a plastic cup. That’s a shame, too, because I really like that song, but am now afraid to sing it.
Here are The Seekers singing it at their farewell concert

Since I’m talking about the sweeter side of pop music, I might as well bring up an odd coincidence. Did you know that Jay Osmond, Karen Carpenter, and John Cowsill – all drummers in  family bands – have the same birthday? March 2. I always thought that was bizarre.

American Idol Elimination Show for 5/05/11

I’m afraid that I may have been a tad bit harsh in my Idol post from this morning. I was full of caffeine and in a ranting mood. That’s really no excuse for talking bad about people that I don’t even know.
Tonight’s elimination show was just about how I expected it would be. With one exception, though. I thought for sure that Haley would be in the bottom 2. Not Lauren. Anyway, Jacob went home and that’s fine with me.
I had predicted that Lauren will come in 3rd in the competition. I am now changing my prediction to Haley.

Tonight’s show was fairly entertaining. I thought that Jennifer did good with her song. The only thing that I really didn’t care for was the Idol group song. I love “Happy Together” by the Turtles, but let’s face it… they murdered that song. It sounded better when the Brady Kids sang it on The Brady Bunch Variety Hour back in the 70s… and they sucked (with the exception of Geri Reischl, who portrayed Jan).

I kind of felt sorry for Lauren when they showed the clip of Jimmy Iovine talking about her. She teared up. I thought that she was going to start bawling. But, she didn’t. Another thing about Lauren. She looks like a freakin’ Amazon whenever she stands next to Ryan. I know Ryan is short, but she looks like Andre the Giant whenever they are together.

Last Night’s American Idol

American Idol was excessively brutal last night. The maudlin and overly-saccharine antics of James made my want to vomit maggot-infested dishrags. That boy is on my penultimate nerve. Jacob, on the other hand, is on my LAST nerve. What is WRONG with those American Idol judges? AND, they had to sing 2 songs. It’s like the Chinese Water Torture squared. Jacob sings sharp – and I don’t mean sharp as in sharply dressed. I mean sharp as in, “You’re singing a semi-tone above the note, and that my friend is commensurate with fingernails on a blackboard”.
And speaking of sharply dressed… who in the crap is dressing Jacob? I’m guessing the wardrobe mistress from Jerry Lewis’ Nutty Professor movie.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating on these guys. They sing a gazillion times better than I do. But there is no way that you can convince me that those 2 guys are 2/5 of the best singers in America.

I already know who is going to win. Scotty McCreery. It’s the easiest prediction in the world. If all gambling was like betting on Scotty for the win, then I would be uber-rich. His win is a no-brainer. Scotty first and James second. It will be a repeat of the Kris Allen/Adam Lambert season. Lauren Alaina will be third.
Scotty had that over-confident look in his eye. He always has that smug look on his face. He knows he’s going to win. He knows he has the double Y vote. Double Y? Yeah, yokel and yahoo. He has the ‘Ma and Pa Kettle sittin’ on the front porch, watching the fire flies’ vote. I don’t care how many teenybops are out there power-texting James Durbin and Lauren Alaina , there is no way he can beat the ‘Ma, I left my teeth on the nightstand, can ya go get’em’ vote. There are tons of borderline decemnovenarians out there with landlines and ‘big black, two ton, rotary, I bought this at Sears in the 1950s when Eisenhower was president’ phones, they are ALL goin to be dialing Scotty’s number. Go check Dial Idol if you don’t believe me.

Personally, I would like to see Haley win. Of the remaining contestants, I like her voice the best. I would buy her album. But unfortunately, I would probably have a better chance of seeing snowballs that I had tossed into hell remain intact, than I would of seeing Haley win this season of AI. More than likely, she will be the one who goes tonight. I’m hoping not. I’m hoping Jacob.

My Ad Infinitum Playlist

My Ad Infinitum Playlist
The 8 songs that I listen to all the time.

Music To Watch Girls By
by the Bob Crewe Generation
This was the first Top 40 hit for the Bob Crewe Generation. I remember hearing it in a Pepsi commercial when I was a kid. I liked it then and I like it now.
Andy Williams has a version of it, with lyrics, on his Born Free album. I like the instrumental version the best.

Listen To Music To Watch Girls By by the Bob Crewe Generation
Listen To Music To Watch Girls By by Andy Williams

Mashed Potato Time
by Dee Dee Sharp  For me, this is the epitome of the 60s dance record. It went to no.2 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1962.
I’ve listened to this song thousands of times and have never tired of it.

Listen To Mashed Potato Time by Dee Dee Sharp

by Santo and Johnny This is one of those hypnotic dreamlike songs. It was no. 1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for 2 weeks in September of 1959 and was the last instrumental to hit no. 1 in the 1950s.
I listen to this song when I am in a nostalgic mood. 

Listen To SleepWalk by Santo and Johnny

I Only Have Eyes For You
by The Flamingos 
This song has been recorded many times, but the version done by The Flamingos is my favorite. It peaked at no.11 on the Billboard Top 100. Rolling Stone magazine ranked the Flamingos’ version #157 on their list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.
The Flamingos version was also used on the American Graffiti soundtrack.

Listen To I Only Have Eyes For You by The Flamingos

Don’t Dream It’s Over
by Crowded House
This song was released Jan.2, 1987 and reached no. 2 on the Billboard Hot 100.
It was used it Stephen King’s The Stand mini-series.

Listen To Don’t Dream It’s Over by Crowded House

by Radiohead 
I love this song. I prefer the ‘so fucking special’ version over the ‘so very special’ version. The song has a weird chord progression. G-B-C-Cm.
Apparently, Jonny Greenwood thought the song was too quiet and tried to screw it up by hitting the 3 blasts of dead notes heard when the song shifts from the verse to the chorus. It made the cut, and is one of the reasons that the song is so great.

Listen To Creep by Radiohead

by Justin Bieber 
I’m not a 12 year old girl, but I still like this song. People have made fun of me because of it.
I don’t care. It’s a catchy pop tune with a very ingenious hook. I like the acoustic version, sans Ludacris, the best.

Listen To Baby by Justin Bieber

by Slipknot 
Such an awesome song from such a scary looking band. I have to be in the mood for most of their stuff, but I am always in the mood for this song.

Listen To Snuff by Slipknot