When I was a kid I was fascinated by celebrities. Not so much anymore. From 1991 to 2009, I lived in Las Vegas, and came across my fair share. Some were very famous, and some were not.
Here are a few encounters that were kind of strange:
I saw Tupac when I was at the Jackson Family Honors. It was taped at the MGM Grand Gardens back in either ’93 or ’94. I can’t remember which. Anyway, I was working at the MGM at the time, and had won two $1000 VIP tickets in an employee drawing. Lucky me. The whole event was so bizarre. I took my friend Adam and we were seated in the 5th row next to the aisle. I had the aisle seat.
While we were waiting for the show to start I got up to go to the bathroom. When I turned to walk up the steps I saw Tupac standing on the stairs about 2 feet away from me. I almost knocked him over. Instead on saying ‘excuse me’ and proceeding to the bathroom, I just stood there. He was with four of his friends and they were kind of blocking my way. I didn’t know what to do, so I just said ‘hi’ and sat down.
I got kicked out of an elevator because of Julio. I was working at a now-defunct restaurant called Leonardos in the MGM Grand. Once again, I had to go to the bathroom. I went out the back of the kitchen and headed down the hallway so that I could take the employee elevator down to the breakroom. Just as the elevator doors were opening I heard footsteps running down the hallway, and someone yelling “Sir, Sir…excuse me, Sir”! I was like WTF. I turned and there were about 5 guys in uniform running down the hallway. When they finally arrived at the elevator, I was informed that I could not use it. “I’m sorry sir,” one guy said, “but you will have to take the stairs. We have talent coming through.” The talent was Julio Iglesias. When he saw me, he smiled a shy smile.
OMG people, I have to frickin’ pee. It’s not like I’m going to bust a cap in his ass or anything!
Anyway, I did what any disgruntled MGM employee would do. I walked down the hallway muttering “Bitch” under my breath. Julio took the elevator and I took the stairs.
It seems like most of my celebrity encounters have indirectly involved the men’s room. My encounter with Tommy Lee was more direct. I was actually IN the men’s room. Once again, it was at the MGM. I was at the urinal. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed some scruffy looking guy peeing next to me. I turned to look. It was Tommy Lee. I was like “OMG, I’m peeing next to Tommy Lee”!
I wanted to resist the urge to get a glimpse of Mr. Winky, but I didn’t. I mean, how often do you get to see a celebrity’s penis in person? So, I looked. I didn’t stare. I just nonchalantly glanced. Much to my surprise – winkywise – I topped Tommy Lee.
Who the crap is Larry Manetti? You know…that guy who played Rick on Magnum pi. Anyway, I guess he wasn’t getting too many acting gigs, because he was working at the MGM. I’m not sure what his job was, but he wore a name tag just like the rest of us.
One night, when I was slaving my ass off in Leonardos, he came in…and he had his kid with him. Of course they seated him at my table when I was totally in the weeds.
The first thing he said to me was, “My kid’s sick. Bring him a Sprite”. So, I high-tailed it to the bar to get his kid a Sprite. Guess what. We were out of sprite. Damn it. I went back to Larry and told him we were out of Sprite. “My kid’s REALLY sick,” he reiterated. “He really needs a Sprite. See if you can find one somewhere.”
I have more important things to do that try to find a damn Sprite for your kid! Bitch, I’m busy. Why’d you bring your kid in here when he’s sick anyway? Take your ass down to the McDonald’s in the food court.
The only place that I knew to get a Sprite was in the soda machine down in the employee breakroom. So, neglecting my other tables, I took the employee elevator (thank goodness Julio wasn’t in town) down to the breakroom and, using my own money, payed 2 bucks for a frickin’ Sprite.
I gave the kid his sprite and they left. Not only did they leave, but he didn’t pay for the Sprite…or leave a tip.
BITE ME LARRY MANETTI!
Well, I guess that’s about it for now. I will post more celebrity encounters at a later date. Remind me to tell you about the time that Rodney Dangerfield called me a ‘stupid mother f***er’ , and about my dangerously close encounter with spree killer, Andrew Cunanan (the guy who killed Versace).